How do you avoid taking the game too seriously?

Following on from my recent thread "Reflections on being a football manager" (Link), I thought I'd share a little problem with how I approach Football Manager and see what advice people have. In some ways, I think I take the game too seriously. There are some things I do, and I'm sure others do, that I actually don't think are too bad. For example, I sometimes think about my saves when I'm off doing other things, but I'm fine with that. There's nothing wrong with thinking about something you enjoy. I don't fret about things or allow it to take over my life or anything like that. But I have two problems.

1) This does my head in. Basically, the game is so hard, and I so want to do well, that I sometimes find matchdays - dare I say it? - stressful. Once it comes time to play a match, I feel unbearably tense and every time the opposition attacks, I feel a sense of dread. What I want to do is care about my save, but care in context, if you see what I mean. I don't want to feel anything but relaxed in myself while playing, but I do still want to maintain whatever it is that makes me want to play and to try. So... how do people find a way to care about their game without getting all het up during matches? How do you manage to stay relaxed and not worry too much if you've lost five in a row? Just to be clear, I don't think I have some kind of major issue here. It's not a life consuming thing or anything like that. It's just a slight problem in terms of enjoying my game. I want to worry slightly less about defeat, I guess. One thing I do know is I'd be a terrible real-life football manager!

2) Related to the one above, I can take ages to get anywhere in a save and I rarely get a long-term one going because I dread the feelings of tension and stress that matchdays give me so much that it can take me sometimes more than a week to load a game up. I might find myself in the mood for FM to the point where I just have to load it up, and I'll enjoy it, but the tension is always there. And once I close the game, I know there's the chance I won't be loading it up again for days. Sometimes we all need a break from it. I take breaks for a number of reasons. But the thing I really hate is when I know I want to play and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Any advice? Insults? All contributions welcome!

Your rather normal in what you do compared to some on here, you will soon see when they post it

I had a little problem with my Arsenal games Vs Manchester United. I hate Manchester United - HATE them. I used to get inordinately wound up whenever I played them, and it wasn't enjoyable. In the end I made a decision to holiday when I play Utd. I set my tactics up and wotnot, then I go on holiday for matchday and take whatever result comes in my absence.

I had a little problem with my Arsenal games Vs Manchester United. I hate Manchester United - HATE them. I used to get inordinately wound up whenever I played them, and it wasn't enjoyable. In the end I made a decision to holiday when I play Utd. I set my tactics up and wotnot, then I go on holiday for matchday and take whatever result comes in my absence.

It's so petty to do this and I'm usually a bigger person than this, but who knows when I'll get to do it again? - 8-2!!!

You are an Arsenal fan, right?

Yes I am, mate. But I'm kind of numb to the abuse right now. I saw the 8-2 scoreline and I just shrugged. I had been talking all week about how we were going to get a monumental kicking. And that fact that I was lying on a sunbaked beach in the Caribbean when I checked the result didn't hurt either.

Following on from my recent thread "Reflections on being a football manager" (Link), I thought I'd share a little problem with how I approach Football Manager and see what advice people have. In some ways, I think I take the game too seriously. There are some things I do, and I'm sure others do, that I actually don't think are too bad. For example, I sometimes think about my saves when I'm off doing other things, but I'm fine with that. There's nothing wrong with thinking about something you enjoy. I don't fret about things or allow it to take over my life or anything like that. But I have two problems.

1) This does my head in. Basically, the game is so hard, and I so want to do well, that I sometimes find matchdays - dare I say it? - stressful. Once it comes time to play a match, I feel unbearably tense and every time the opposition attacks, I feel a sense of dread. What I want to do is care about my save, but care in context, if you see what I mean. I don't want to feel anything but relaxed in myself while playing, but I do still want to maintain whatever it is that makes me want to play and to try. So... how do people find a way to care about their game without getting all het up during matches? How do you manage to stay relaxed and not worry too much if you've lost five in a row? Just to be clear, I don't think I have some kind of major issue here. It's not a life consuming thing or anything like that. It's just a slight problem in terms of enjoying my game. I want to worry slightly less about defeat, I guess. One thing I do know is I'd be a terrible real-life football manager!

2) Related to the one above, I can take ages to get anywhere in a save and I rarely get a long-term one going because I dread the feelings of tension and stress that matchdays give me so much that it can take me sometimes more than a week to load a game up. I might find myself in the mood for FM to the point where I just have to load it up, and I'll enjoy it, but the tension is always there. And once I close the game, I know there's the chance I won't be loading it up again for days. Sometimes we all need a break from it. I take breaks for a number of reasons. But the thing I really hate is when I know I want to play and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Any advice? Insults? All contributions welcome!

Firstly, brilliant post in your other thread.

1) Yes matchdays are very stressful to me. I get incredibly stressed out when my opponents attacks constantly and I don't get enough possession. I play FM when I'm stressed, but playing the game just gets me more stressed, but I keep playing . It's all good when I'm winning, but if I'm lose a few games or lose a key player to injury I get really, really irritated. But I just keep playing even if I'm on a losing streak. I listen to music and chat on msn about FM while playing.

2) As stressful as matchdays are, I still keep going. If the losing streak is pretty lengthy I just go onto another save, or I get away from the game for a little bit and do other things. But once I rested up I load up that save again and try and win a game. I take breaks from the game but they're mostly short, no more than a day. If it's more than a day it's because I'm actually busy with RL stuff.

My advice is if you're stressed out by the game, just release your emotions. I swear sometimes and it feels better afterwards. It's slightly OTT I admit (swearing at virtual players????... ) but it works for me.

I kind of know what you mean, i really get anxious when i'm on the run-in and still fighting for league title or promotion because i end up bottling it up 90% of the time..

My advice is to just stop treating it as a computer game and look to it as a true football manager... you go out there and have your lads try their best and if you don't win.. hey that just how football is.. surely you end up winning some other day.

1) I find some matchdays sort of stressful but that if is a cup final or league decider, I mostly get annoyed when I lose to teams when I get beat (sometimes angry) but it is just part of the game. If you start losing then just keep a cool head and think about what you could change to win the match.

2) If in a bad losing streak you get very stressed, so just leave the game alone for a bit and magically when you get back on it you start winning. Don't know why when I am on a bad losing streak I just leave the game for a few days come back and I start winning, but never do this when on a winning streak because I was on a 18 game win streak and I got off for a bit and then came back and I lost

Don't play a network game with someone in the same room then, theres nothing like having a depressing season of woe just after being promoted while the other guy is and heading towards european qualification places.

Games are not stressful to me? Heck why should they be? I remember they arn't important since it's just a game. Yes I am happy when we win and angry when we lose but when I save and close the game, it doesn't matter anymore. My emotions only arise when playing the game. No point worrying or thinking about it too much outside the game. I have real life stuff to get stressed about more. They are kinda more important lol. But when I set aside time to play, I like to imerse myself and get angry or happy, but only when playing the game.

How to make games less stressful?

Just remembering it's just a game and if you don't like how it goes, there's Alt+F4.... It's not "fair", but if a match is really getting on your nerves (one of those "no matter what you do, you can't get it right today" annoying matches every FM'er has experienced) why not?

A blemish on your reputation as fake manager is surely better than a smashed keyboard or than a nervous breakdown

I think it is dangerous to allow yourself to be taken over by the virtual world of FM. Afterall, FM is just a game - it doesn't matter whether you won 100 trophies on it or not. Real life achievements matter much more.

That being said, sometimes I do find myself tense up when playing FM. So, I often tell myself that I am effectively a spectator watching a virtual game. Whether my team wins or loses, is none of my business really...

I have to admit I get fully amerced into the game and can be on it for a day and half straight losing all sense of time in the real world. I shout and scream at me players even though I know they can't hear me (I do it watching football on tv). Many a time I've had my head in my hands thinking what the hell have I got to do to, when on a losing streak, I have seen me throw my rubber at the screen when conceding a sloppy goal (I write all stats for all my players in a book for every season of every match FM is my life. Football is my life. One time my computer broke and I could play for ages it felt like I lost an arm (not that I know what thats like).

So I sympathise with you finding it stressful, but thats why I love it, never got into FIFA Manager mode due to the option if things are not going well you can intervene to try and win. Thats not managing its playing god in my eyes.

Its all about picking your best eleven and hoping you've got everything right to get the win.

I confess to being one "those people" that has lost it a few times.

I've smashed countless keyboards, mice and put my fist through a screen once, albeit that was in 1995-6 or something.

These days, a bad result merely gets a slight "humph" type noise and then I get up and make another coffee or something.

It's funny when I look back over the last 17 years of playing this game - been inmy life more than my wife! - and how I've changed along with the game. I would suggest we all change and mellow out, or at least hope that's the case.

Too expensive to smash 23" screens now!!!

I'll happily also confess to pretending to interview players with rubbish match ratings or have 'conversations' with my 'players' before fining them etc...

Mock me if you like but I like to see it as me having a more creative imagination than some...haha. It's all good!!!