Funny FM11 conversation

First post. Have signed up purely because I want to share a funny FM11 moment with people.

I'm managing Villa. For some reason, this attempt to get Emile Heskey to tutor Connor Wickham made me chuckle so much that I wrote a little article about it on my blog:

http://www.narrowtheangle.com/2011/02/moment-from-football-manager-last-night.html

Bit random, but hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Suffice to say Emile Heskey will not be tutoring Connor Wickham...

I felt sad for Emile.

If I were the manager I'd give Wickham a backhander and say "now you listen lad. You'll get a damn sight less caps then this England legend if you don't bloody listen to what I say. Now either you stick to Emile like glue or I'm sending you on loan to Didcot Town."

Unfortunately conversations haven't evolved to that point yet.

I felt sad for Emile.

Hehe, a lot of people have said that. I think it's the mental image of him slowing leaving the room on the brink of tears - bittersweet. But funny when it's just a computer game.

These kids are so cocky nowadays... I bet any of them wouldn't have the guts to decline a tutoring by Roy Keane

If I were the manager I'd give Wickham a backhander and say "now you listen lad. You'll get a damn sight less caps then this England legend if you don't bloody listen to what I say. Now either you stick to Emile like glue or I'm sending you on loan to Didcot Town."

Unfortunately conversations haven't evolved to that point yet.

Annoyingly, they often refuse loan moves too! Makes me wonder why I bother having feeder clubs...

This is fairly standard for players to say when you approach them with this subject, especially regens tend to do it.

I ran into a new type of convo the other day with a player in my squad who seems to absolutely hate me. He's a world class DMC and I have too many DMC's so somewhere along the line he has started to dislike me due to not getting enough first team football. It all went downhill from there and I haven't had a good conversation with him since.

Me: Can you recommend a first-team player to the squad?

Him: It isn't my job to be recommending players.

Me: I hope you understand that I was only trying to get you more involved in club matters.

Him: I stand by what I said. I think I should leave now as this conversation isn't going very well.

That's pretty hateful.

This is fairly standard for players to say when you approach them with this subject, especially regens tend to do it.

I ran into a new type of convo the other day with a player in my squad who seems to absolutely hate me. He's a world class DMC and I have too many DMC's so somewhere along the line he has started to dislike me due to not getting enough first team football. It all went downhill from there and I haven't had a good conversation with him since.

Me: Can you recommend a first-team player to the squad?

Him: It isn't my job to be recommending players.

Me: I hope you understand that I was only trying to get you more involved in club matters.

Him: I stand by what I said. I think I should leave now as this conversation isn't going very well.

That's pretty hateful.

He sounds a bit like Roy Keane!

These kids are so cocky nowadays... I bet any of them wouldn't have the guts to decline a tutoring by Roy Keane

Since this conversation, I've had to sub Wickham for Heskey on two occasions, and both times big Emile's hit the winner. I like to think he ran towards the bench shouting "Eh? Nothing to learn from me, eh Wickham?!"

Interestingly, I never pussyfoot around my players with the conversations.

If they head in the wrong direction, I usually remind them who's the boss. If they don't like that, slapping them on the transfer list and dumping them in the reserves, often has the desired effect for me.

The next conversations I have, usually results in them giving grovelling apologies.

Give 'em and inch, they'll take a mile. I cut no slack.

Interestingly, I never pussyfoot around my players with the conversations.

If they head in the wrong direction, I usually remind them who's the boss. If they don't like that, slapping them on the transfer list and dumping them in the reserves, often has the desired effect for me.

The next conversations I have, usually results in them giving grovelling apologies.

Give 'em and inch, they'll take a mile. I cut no slack.

Interesting. Maybe I need to get tougher. Eventually managed to get Liedson to tutor Wickham, but I wanted him to learn hold-up play from Heskey.

Does anyone here ever get someone young and brilliant to be tutored by someone less good than them? For example, I've signed Akinfeev. Is it worth me getting Brad Friedel to tutor him, even though Akinfeev is better technically? Will Friedel pass on other skills like mentality, composure, etc?

I don't know why this made me laugh so much. Probably because the guy has always run his ass off for whatever team he plays for and yet gets no love. I imagine his newspaper soggy from tears after reading another matchday article that doesn't give any mention to the honest shift he put in. I can imagine Heskey finally snapping, picking up Wickham by the throat and chokeslaming him through the dressing-room wall.

Yeah, I've had similar ones, at Chelsea, this youngster Daniel Pappoe didn't want to be tutored by John Terry for the same reason haha

Yeah, sometimes player interaction gets really hilarious!

One of my favorite conversations was with Kenny Van Hoevelen, who wanted more first team football:

Him: I think I'm good enough and I might have to leave to find 1st team football

Me: I'll try to find a new club for you as soon as I can.

Him: I don't believe you'll keep your word.

Me: I had time to think about it and I'll let you go if you want to. (so I'm basically telling him exactly the same thing)

Him: Great, I'm pleased we sorted this out.

I was like, "wtf"

I felt sad for Emile.

Yeah me too .....

Hehe, a lot of people have said that. I think it's the mental image of him slowing leaving the room on the brink of tears - bittersweet. But funny when it's just a computer game.

I say you leave Wickham and Heskey in a room alone so they can sort out their differences.....

Since this conversation, I've had to sub Wickham for Heskey on two occasions, and both times big Emile's hit the winner. I like to think he ran towards the bench shouting "Eh? Nothing to learn from me, eh Wickham?!"

Nah mate Heskey is too professional to do that lol

Interesting. Maybe I need to get tougher. Eventually managed to get Liedson to tutor Wickham, but I wanted him to learn hold-up play from Heskey.

Does anyone here ever get someone young and brilliant to be tutored by someone less good than them? For example, I've signed Akinfeev. Is it worth me getting Brad Friedel to tutor him, even though Akinfeev is better technically? Will Friedel pass on other skills like mentality, composure, etc?

I'm pretty sure that Akinfeev is too old and has too high a reputation to be tutored

The crasiest conversation I had was on my first save of this edition.

I had decided one player, who had been a backup player for the whole season, was not good enough for the squad anymore and I wanted to get rid of him. I thought I'd be honest with the guy, so I told him he was going to be transfer listed.

He told me he thought that wasn't fair.

I told him to be more proffesional about it.

This made him so angry he declared unfair treatment and demanded a transfer....

seriously, wtf

The crasiest conversation I had was on my first save of this edition.

I had decided one player, who had been a backup player for the whole season, was not good enough for the squad anymore and I wanted to get rid of him. I thought I'd be honest with the guy, so I told him he was going to be transfer listed.

He told me he thought that wasn't fair.

I told him to be more proffesional about it.

This made him so angry he declared unfair treatment and demanded a transfer....

seriously, wtf

Job done. You're a psychological man-management genius

Emile Heskey what a bad player

The crasiest conversation I had was on my first save of this edition.

I had decided one player, who had been a backup player for the whole season, was not good enough for the squad anymore and I wanted to get rid of him. I thought I'd be honest with the guy, so I told him he was going to be transfer listed.

He told me he thought that wasn't fair.

I told him to be more proffesional about it.

This made him so angry he declared unfair treatment and demanded a transfer....

seriously, wtf

I had this rubbish player that I wanted to get rid of, but no one would make an offer for him.

We had a conversation, and I managed to get him a mutual termination with zero compensation cos he thought he was too good and would find another team easily.

God I felt like the best manager ever that day

lol this is funny you were better off getting him to be tutored by James collins.. the center back !

Yeah, sometimes player interaction gets really hilarious!

One of my favorite conversations was with Kenny Van Hoevelen, who wanted more first team football:

Him: I think I'm good enough and I might have to leave to find 1st team football

Me: I'll try to find a new club for you as soon as I can.

Him: I don't believe you'll keep your word.

Me: I had time to think about it and I'll let you go if you want to. (so I'm basically telling him exactly the same thing)

Him: Great, I'm pleased we sorted this out.

I was like, "wtf"

Haha, I guess there's still some teething problems with conversations on FM11! It's getting there though. By 2020 it's going to be scarily real!

lol this is funny you were better off getting him to be tutored by James collins.. the center back !

Now there's an idea. Maybe I'll tell Wickham to retrain as a centre-back as punishment!

nice bit of subliminal advertising by the OP there

nice bit of subliminal advertising by the OP there

Advertising what? My blog doesn't carry any advertising. Just thought people might enjoy it.

think he meant for your blog nice conversation by the way

think he meant for your blog nice conversation by the way

Cheers. Can you 'advertise' a blog though? It's not as if there's anything in it for me, other than some personal satisfaction if people have read it and (hopefully) liked it. If I was trying to sell you something, I could understand it, but it's just a bit of throwaway fluff, a silly blog with a silly punchline.