Kwik kwiz!

Q: You are a midfielder in a Premiership side pushing for a surprise European place. You are 1-0 down away at a rival side in a game two-thirds of the way through the season, with 66 minutes played. The opposition have a corner, which is headed clear, the ball running towards the halfway line. You start running to pick up the loose ball, and with a comfortable head start (five or six yards) you will easily be the first player to the ball and will have the opportunity to set up a 3-on-2 counter-attack and hopefully find the equaliser. Do you:

A) Keep running, collect the ball and push forward, supported by your team's two strikers, to hopefully get the goal which will make it 1-1?

B) Keep running, collect the ball, and play it over the top for the strikers to run onto, hopefully outpacing the opposition's two defenders?

C) Decide to stop for no apparent reason, and instead of collecting the ball, stand there in the middle of nowhere, allowing an opponent to overtake you, control the ball, and launch it back into the area for one of his teammates to beat the offside trap and fire home at the back post?

Answers on a postcard.

A. turn this into a poll would be easier.

I would pick C because that seems to be the best option.

I answered C, for this is how SI made me.

Well done, Luke and savagepenguin! You go through to round two.

Your next question is:

You are a top international goalkeeper. Your team is protecting a 1-0 lead with four minutes remaining, and are putting pressure on the opposition at the other end of the pitch when the ball is cleared and comes bouncing down toward your corner flag. Do you:

A: Allow the ball to run out for a goal kick, then waste a bit of time preparing to take it?

B: Jog out, control the ball, and belt it back down to the other end where your attackers can challenge for it again?

C: Sprint out, try to perform a 360-degree mid-air bodyspin and head the ball fifty yards, but in reality succeed only in heading it limply into space where it can be collected by the furthest forward opponent, who has time to look up and pick his spot as you run back to your goal, before sending the ball flying into the top corner for the equaliser?

this wouldnt have anything to do with things that have happened to your team/players via the match engine would it?

and yea it annoys the hell out of me sometimes too, do love this game though!

I want to read more of these, for comedy value. Keep them coming!

C both times obviously. I've seen nonsense like this many times.

C. I would also be tempted to add more examples of comedy-headers, as the match engine seems to favour these.

...if in doubt, pointlessly head the ball to the opposition.

I'd say D.you're really p*ssed off

C - is is the answer the ME will choose.

Congratulations guys, C was the right answer! Here's number three:

Q: You are a Premiership striker. You are waiting on the halfway line while the opposition take a corner. The corner is booted clear and comes in your direction; you run to collect the ball. Do you:

A) Control it and head forward, hoping to create some space for yourself and that your teammates will get forward in support?

B) Hold up the ball to give your teammates the chance to push forward, before laying it off to a midfielder and making a forward run yourself?

C) Dribble it aimlessly towards the touchline for a few seconds and then punt a long ball towards the opposition's corner flag, as far as possible from anyone on your team?

Obviously the answer is C.

It seems no matter what instructions you give each individual player it is ultimatly ignored by the ME.

interesting how you tried to disguise a complaint about the numerous bugs that we all know about this game into a quiz...

keep em coming this is good stuff

It seems no matter what instructions you give each individual player it is ultimatly ignored by the ME.

Umm, not quite right. They do. OP has a fair bit of weight behind his grievances though! Things like this do happen, but if you tell a player to do stuff specifically through individual player instructions, and watch the game in normal time, you'll see they're doing that.

Remember the 3D is limited on what it can actually portray so you have to give it the benefit of the doubt sometimes!! Annoying as hell!

C - I was bribed by SI to screw with your game.

Certainly C. I once saw my player do just this, yet still beat every defender to the ball, before trying to score with a header from the byline.

Just trying to keep this realistic here.

Whats the prize for winning the quiz???

Whats the prize for winning the quiz???

A copy of CM4, probably.

Sorry to keep you all waiting, but here's round four:

Q: You are an attacking midfielder playing for a top Serie A side in the knockout stage of European competition. Your team are a goal up in a tough tie and the opposition have a corner. As your manager has instructed, you stay forward, lurking near the halfway line ready to pick up any clearances. The corner comes in, and after a bit of head tennis, it is cleared high towards where you are. Do you:

A: Wait for the ball to come down, then control it and accelerate away to set up an attack?

B: Wait for the ball to come down, trap it and lay it off to a teammate running forward at pace, then sprint towards the opposition's area to provide another option as he attacks?

C: Start walking slowly backwards, wait for the ball to come down, let it bounce once, hit you in the crotch and fly off to an opponent on the edge of your own penalty area, who takes a touch, turns, and fires a long-range effort into the top corner?

Can I have a C please Bob

epic post....FLAWLESS VICTORY

I don't use it but you should really make a Facebook quiz

This is unbelievable. By the way, I'm going for C, it sounds most realistic, haha

C all the way

Yep, right again, it was C. How do you keep getting these fiendishly difficult questions right?

Here's another:

You are a world-class centre-back playing for a side challenging for the Serie A title. There are five minutes left on the clock and your side are 3-0 up against a bunch of mid-table nonentities. The opposition get forward, and a cross is launched into the box. One of their forwards makes a run into the area, with you marking him, but the ball has been overhit and your keeper comes out ready to make a comfortable save. Do you:

A: Keep a close watch on the forward but relax in the knowledge that your keeper has it covered, and prepare to push out again?

B: Move towards your keeper, ready to deal with any danger in the unlikely event of his fumbling the catch?

C: Decide to perform a sliding tackle from behind on the man you are marking while the ball sails way over your heads, thus giving away a penalty and picking up a red card, getting yourself suspended, meaning the team will be missing one of their best players for the upcoming clash against their top-of-the-table rivals?

C for me please. I somehow have definitely instructed my team that the number one foul to give away while the ball is in the air is for 'tripping.'

hmm.... i think i go with C ha

these are priceless man

Tricky, but I think it's C.

This is gold, best thread I've ever read

None of the above!

I would stand there for a short while before blasting it into "Row Z"!

You're a goalkeeper, not great but you've played for 10 years and found your level. The ball is punted upfield by the opposition keeper, its going to bounce about 30 yards out from goal, what DO you do?

a) let the ball bounce into your box, aware that no opposition player is pressuring you

b) sprint out of the goal, running under the ball as it bounces, FALL OVER, and get up just in time to take out both your centre back and the opposition striker and get sent off

c) shoot the referee.

next question please

wow, that's an intriguing question. i guess if you'r manuel neuer you would run like a crazy man until the halfaw line just to get passed by the opposition striker

Q: You are the manager of a Serie A side fighting for a European place, and you are playing away at the current league leaders and top scorers. You have been completely overrun in the first half, and while you scored from a corner early on, it wasn't long before the opposition equalised. You know that you have only stayed level through a combination of poor finishing and great goalkeeping - in fact, your keeper has been man of the match so far - and that you are going to have to change things at half-time in order to avoid defeat. Do you:

A: Bring on a hard-working defensive midfielder for one of your more attacking players, to help break up the play and prevent the opposition creating so many chances?

B: Replace one of your forwards with an extra creative midfielder, to try and retain possession in midfield and perhaps get a proper foothold in the game?

C: Substitute your goalkeeper?

is it C, just a guess.

Can I ask a question?

Q: You are a defender playing for an EPL side. The ball is cleared long by the opposition. There is an attacker trying to chase the ball down, but you have a good head start. Do you?

A: Control the ball and look for a pass?

B: Smash the ball back into their half ?

C: Run towards the ball for a bit, then begin to hop sideways like a dim crab until the attacker closes you down?

C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C!!!!!!!!

I've answered all these questions

You are the manager of the AI team, and your side is getting outplayed. The clock is at 85, you have 0 shots on goal so far while they have 36. The score is 1-0 to the opponents. What do you do?

A. Sub a defender for a fresh striker and tells him to work his ass off

B. Nothing, just accepting a loss

C. Pull a rabbit from the hat and switch formation to 4-2-4 and get 1 point

Hello again fact fans! Time for another one.

Q: You are the captain and centre-back of a Premiership side currently sixth, playing against some of your nearest rivals for a European place with only three games of the season to go. A through ball from the opposition's winger eludes your full-back, but fortunately you are on hand to clean up comfortably before the opposition striker can get there, and you take control of the ball. Do you:

A) Smash it into row Z to give yourself time to organise your defence to mark up and deal with the throw in?

B) Turn and play it safely back to your keeper, in the knowledge that there are no opponents nearby?

C) Stand still and stare at the advertising hoardings for five seconds, allowing the opposition's striker to wander over, nick the ball, race into your area and score?

Again, it has to be C.

Keep em' coming

Q: You are the back four of a Serie A side playing an early season game against a team expected to challenge you for the title. You are winning 4-3 in the third and final minute of injury time, when your team wins a throw-in level with the edge of the opposition's penalty area. A midfielder walks over to take the throw, and you check your tactical instructions for this situation. Your manager has told you to play defensively; he has also told all four defenders and the goalkeeper to stay back at throw-ins. Do you:

A) Push up to around the halfway line, marking the players the opposition has left forward, with the keeper waiting on the edge of his area to clear any balls over the top?

B) Stay further back, with one centre-back or the full-backs ready to advance and clear any balls that might come your way?

C) All wander off into the opposition's penalty area, leaving your goalkeeper standing on the halfway line as the furthest man back and one solitary centre-back marking three opposition attackers just inside their own half, who promptly receive a clearance, race upfield and score into the empty net?

Accept it ... you're not a good manager to keep your lead or motivate your players for go for late equalizer. My crystal palace team has made 3 late draws in last season and 2 late 1-0 victories in last 5 minutes time. It's possible to protect your lead, late equalizer etc. Go to FM-Britain website for tactical guides.

disclaimer: I'm not attached to FM Britain in anyway apart from a reader.

Am loving the thread. You've mentioned perfectly, several of the things about the game that really annoy me.

Q) You are the manager of an EPL team having won the Premiership 3 years in a row and are defending Champions League winners. Your team is now full of world class stars. You are playing in the FA cup against a lower league opposition. You've run the opposition ragged in the first half, having something like 20 attempts on goal. Unfortunately their goalkeeper is on fire and you find yourself 1-0 down from their one and only attack.

You really go for it in the 2nd half, bringing on your best 2 wingers (who have wonderful crossing and corner taking abilities) and your star striker (who happens to be the World Footballer Of The Year). The striker is a daemon with head and foot. Do you:

1) Massacre them, scoring 4 goals in the 2nd half, meriting the performance you have given?

2) Scramble a 1-1 draw after having finally manged to beat the opposition keeper?

3) Put in 50 crosses and watch your star players head every single ball 50 feet over the crossbar and lose 2-0 after they score with their 2nd attempt on goal?

I wish we had some videos of these things happening.

But remember "it your tactics lulz!!"

Q. You are a top team playing in Spain's Top Division. You are playing a team in the relegation zone of the league. You only need 1 point to win the league and you're winning 1 - 0 at half time. The manager informs the players "Don't get complacent", do you:

A) Go out and outplay the opposition for the second half and score a few more goals and win the league triumphantly

B) Go out and play a good game of football and draw the game and win the league with a bore draw

C) Go out and play the worst second half of your life and lose 3 - 1

This thread is priceless !!!!!!!!!

Have to say that this thread gave me quite a chuckle! Nice to have some light hearted fun about the game (but correct points in my experiences) without it descending into an arguement.

I salute you Eprstockholm

Epr: I think it's C.

This thread has put a smile on face, after a very, very long day.

Hmmm, guess I'll join in on the band wagon, and I will also pump for 'C'