Nightmare FM phrases.. from hell

Allright - this game has some phrases that we all see every single day. Some much more often than others. They get stuck in our mind, we curse them and go insane trying to scrape them off our brains with a rusty fork I'll give some examples from my experience:

On comes the At.Madrid physio... -

He seems to be injured

His game is over

X has taken a knock

He won't be able to run off this injury

Cagey press conference from X - after I replied every question but said I will not discuss my tactics.

X says he is not worried about Y - when asked about if certain player is a threat and say I won't concentrate on certain player. No matter how more important other things were in the conference this is always the main news.

What's his decision going to be? - my favourite. Stopping the bar movement to show mi this and then...

Yellow Card! - How exciting! Thanks for stopping the bar just so I can read this pile of crap over and over again! AND It's NEVER A RED CARD GODDAMMIT!

Occasionally you get to see the player take a 5 minute walk of fame to the referee so he can receive a lecture or a yellow card or..

That was never a red card! - _)_

On to the brainwashing and VERY USEFUL backroom advices:

Y concede most of their goals between 15 and 26 minutes - thanks thats so useful, i don't even need you to suggest narrow/width play or how to play my defense or anything. I just need to know that when they concede. This is the uber advice.

Y score most of their goals between 50 and 75 minutes - equally useful.

I'm sure there are many more but I blocked for now The stage is yours

"Ian Stanley was in an equivocal mood....."

I'm SICK of seeing this

Disaster for _________! He's put the ball into his own net!

Occasionally you get to see the player take a 5 minute walk of fame to the referee so he can receive a lecture or a yellow card or..

I've had an opposition player, on a yellow, injure himself in fouling my player, go off the field for 2-3 mins treatment, get up, go to the ref, and get a red card...

I was annoyed at the time but now I can look back on it with happiness as we scored the free kick the sent-off player gave away

yeah every time the game stops to for the ref it is always a yellow card how about an occasional red card?

Vermundr- please cut out the swearing in your posts- it is not needed to get your point across.

"Cagey press conference from Manager X" (Every single press conference!)

Well... whatever I say I'm gonna upset my team so.

And my favourites...

"I predicted Team Y winning this one, I maybe saw Team X snatching a draw, but I certainly didn't see Team X winning this one." Then you're not looking hard enough!

"Opposition player, Player Y, has gone 490450480584 minutes without a goal"...

"Opposition player, Player Y, broke his goalscoring drought after going 490450480584 minutes without a goal"

Vermundr- please cut out the swearing in your posts- it is not needed to get your point across.

It was just for emphasis rather than real swearing sorry about that But why is it a problem if it's filtered out anyway? Anyway.

One I forgot about:

That's a goal on his debut!

That's his first ever goal for X!

And the exclamation marks after most of these phrases are just like a big HAHA in your face

I'm always in an equivocal mood according to the press. When I lose I always see:

Manager X did not rate Player Y show

It always says that the player will be upset by my words but they never seem to be.

It was just for emphasis rather than real swearing sorry about that But why is it a problem if it's filtered out anyway? Anyway.

One I forgot about:

That's a goal on his debut!

That's his first ever goal for X!

And the exclamation marks after most of these phrases are just like a big HAHA in your face

These two are my biggest bugbears - I hate conceding these - especially if they're after the first 10 games of the season

I hate it when these come one after another in the same match...

"Ohhh, what a goal!"

"He struck that from some way out!"

"X have scored a late winner!"

"That's his first ever goal for the club!"

It was X's poor pass that led to the opportunity

X missed his interception and Y made him pay

DAMN YOU X BE BETTER!

goalkeeper X does well to turn it round the post...

at least 10 times a match

Goal for __________!!!!! BUT HE NEVER MEANT IT!

I have this a lot... really

is this the winning goal? - opposition scores in the 94th minute, which is the last one, and right after that the ref blows for full time. they win on away goals. (champions league playoff)...

I hate it when these come one after another in the same match...

"Ohhh, what a goal!"

"He struck that from some way out!"

"X have scored a late winner!"

"That's his first ever goal for the club!"

I hate this one and then when you look at the player he's a 38 yr old CB who has played 600+ games for the club that has just beaten you 1-0 in the FA Cup Final with a 90+4 minutes.

After i calmed down i had a chuckle about him recounting this as a old man down the pub.

"X put on a goalkeeping clinic!"

In the summary after a press conference in which you have made some controvesional statements about the effectiveness of the oppositions star player, but the headline reads.

"Manager X is not interested in Player B"

Opposition is looking for more options in the final third

Opposition is looking for more attacking options

This pops up all the time. Sometimes every few minutes. why??

Cagey press conference from X

I'm starting to hate being called 'cagey' really bad!

When 3-0 up or down with 5 mins left to go and then you score or concede. That's a glimmer of hope for __________

He somehow got his fingertips to it!

Player X looking for a new challenge.

I've always thought that when it shows a player getting a yellow card, its kind of like watching MOTD. When you're watching the highlights and you see someone get a yellow card randomly, they're more than likely to get sent off later on...anyone agree?

Always happens with Scott Parker for me!