If FM was real.

World Cup 2010 (If FM was real life)

Welcome to a review of how the 2010 world cup was won by England their first taste of victory since 1966.

Things did not start well for the eventual winners having sacked their manager Fabio Capello just 2 months before the World Cup finals. Those who care to think back to those troubled times will remember how bad things got for the Italian coach. He relied on a wide approach using fast skilful wingers and wanted them to cross the ball at every opportunity. This tactic worked for Capello for all of his career, however sometime around December 2009 things changed. Having lost 2 worm up games to Scotland and Cameroon the media were quickly on the manager’s back, pointing out stats like the wingers Fabio based his tactics on, failed to complete a cross from 48 attempts. Yes a 0% completion. This was just the tip of the ice-berg but we are here to look at more positive times.

Manager Brian Adams was inserted as manager before England’s first game against the USA on the 12th of June 2010. When asked for his tactical approach by the assembled press, Adams answer was quick. “I will be employing Mr Hough’s Complete dominance tactic, you know the one with the Elephant stone defensive tweak”. This did not seem to sit comfortably with many fans who believed the England boss should have gone with something sensible from the stable of Cleon or Justified.

However the fans were soon on side after England crushed the US, having 36 shots on target, creating what is now referred to in the news-papers as 12 clear cut chances. They also limited the Americans to just one 35yd shot on goal. Final score 2-1 to England.

England’s next game was against Algeria on the 18th June. This was a hard fought match and neither side could break the deadlock. It ended 0-0 with England manager claiming the Algerian keeper (Kamel Bug) was super that evening. This led to every news-paper running the headline “England denied by Super Keeper Bug.

On to the final group game against Slovenia and with pressure building manager Bryan Adams asked fans to be patient stating his team needs games and time to gel. He went on to say pleasing the fans was his priority “Everything I do, I do it for you”.

This press conference seemed to fire the England boys up and they ran out easy 3-1 winners.

England coasted to victory against Serbia in the second round having changed training methods to what the manager calls “Tugs training”. This led to a meeting with France in the Quarter final. England now playing with pride and passion overcame a weak French team who did not seem interested in the game. In fact 2 of England’s 3 goals came from Gareth Barry playing a simple through ball which seemed to frighten the French centre backs and cause them to run away from the ball.

6th July 2010 and England the founder of the beautiful game faced Brazil the games most outstanding students. This was a tense affair and everyone new this game would be tight. Opinion was split as to who would win but one things for sure everyone new it would be a close game. 7-1 England won and made it through to the final.

Now even with things going so well the England team still faced their critics. Fan Ian Bumbeard claimed manager Brian Adams was wrong to play Rio Ferdinand; instead he should have played Keith Plop an ageing backup player from Weymouth. Wayne Rooney was also quizzed about the amount of clear cut chances he was missing. Rooney had scored 5 goals so far but had missed an amazing 19 clear cut chances. “I don’t know why, the gaffer keeps asking me to round the keeper or lob him but when I get the chance a little voice inside my head says just smash it against his face every time”. Manager Adams was quick to back his star man saying the chances that Rooney was missing were in fact not good chances. Sure to you or me it looks like Wayne is in the clear with all the time in the world and just the keeper to beat, but that is just a trick of our minds and in reality that chance that my 87 year old Nan could score was actually a hard one. He then handed over to his spokesman wwfan to explain things in more detail.

The final. It may have been a shock that England made it this far but many experts had predicted their opponents, yes mighty Korea. The game passed with little talking points apart from Barry being replaced by Joe Cole only for Cole to be injured after 1 minute, his replacement Lennon then also picked up an injury and had to be replaced.

England led 1-0 and the clock said 92 minutes, England new they just had one more minute of injury time to keep the Koreans at bay. Noooo Lennon brings down the Korean winger and a free kick is awarded 45yds from goal. Up stepped Chi Chow Chin the Korean left back and………..Goal. No one can ever remember Chi taking a free kick up until that day, he has never scored a goal and the fact he took it with his right foot when he is left footed left pundits speechless. England fans were in tears but tears soon turned into smiles as 3.6 seconds later Wes Brown smashed in a 30yd screamer.

England win.

Special mention.

Top scorer 6ft 7ins Korean centre half Din Pin scored an amazing 18 goals all from headers at the back post from corners.

Player of the finals. Korean Gk Lee Yo according to the Daily Mirror he averaged an 9.4 rating throughout the tournament.

Germany have also been excluded from all future World cups for failing to play a single player anyone has ever heard of.

1. That’s the amount of direct free kicks scored at the world cup this year.

Manager Brian Adams soon left his post returning to his job at Haskins Garden Centre but before he did he praised his staff team most notably his half time team motivator BubbaRayTuna.

You mean... FM isn't real?!

The world is ending...

Nice thread btw.

Very Good .

Good read. Sums it all up nicely..

Quality read tbh

That is quality stuff there, well done

It was all hilarious (I love satire), but this in particular made me nearly spit my tea all over my monitor:

Germany have also been excluded from all future World cups for failing to play a single player anyone has ever heard of.

:D

...

England’s next game was against Algeria on the 18th June. This was a hard fought match and neither side could break the deadlock. It ended 0-0 with England manager claiming the Algerian keeper (Kamel Bug) was super that evening. This led to every news-paper running the headline “England denied by Super Keeper Bug.

...

Quality! This stood out to me.

“I don’t know why, the gaffer keeps asking me to round the keeper or lob him but when I get the chance a little voice inside my head says just smash it against his face every time”

I could quote this all day.

Excellent.

And very well written.

Sums it all up.

Now even with things going so well the England team still faced their critics. Fan Ian Bumbeard claimed manager Brian Adams was wrong to play Rio Ferdinand; instead he should have played Keith Plop an ageing backup player from Weymouth. .

Hilarious this does get on my nerves on fm:D

Ha, loved that

Top scorer 6ft 7ins Korean centre half Din Pin scored an amazing 18 goals all from headers at the back post from corners.

Quality stuff. This actually ****es me of. In FM 08 it used to be the near post cross during the corner that made your centre-back score 20 goals per season. In FM 09 simply making him challenge the keeper and 6 yard box cross would do it. Now the far post...

lol decent read here

If FM was real, FMRTE would be written by Bernie Madoff.

Good story btw

Just looked at FMRTE first time tonight. wow minefield...

Just looked at FMRTE first time tonight. wow minefield...

Potential game-wrecker is FMRTE. If your going to use it, do it wisely.

OP lacks ¬_______¬ but is otherwise perfect.

The game passed with little talking points apart from Barry being replaced by Joe Cole only for Cole to be injured after 1 minute, his replacement Lennon then also picked up an injury and had to be replaced.

England led 1-0 and the clock said 92 minutes, England new they just had one more minute of injury time to keep the Koreans at bay. Noooo Lennon brings down the Korean winger and a free kick is awarded 45yds from goal.

Hmmmm. . . .

Hmmmm. . . .

Poetic license?

World Cup 2010 (If FM was real life)

Wayne Rooney was also quizzed about the amount of clear cut chances he was missing. Rooney had scored 5 goals so far but had missed an amazing 19 clear cut chances. “I don’t know why, the gaffer keeps asking me to round the keeper or lob him but when I get the chance a little voice inside my head says just smash it against his face every time”. Manager Adams was quick to back his star man saying the chances that Rooney was missing were in fact not good chances. Sure to you or me it looks like Wayne is in the clear with all the time in the world and just the keeper to beat, but that is just a trick of our minds and in reality that chance that my 87 year old Nan could score was actually a hard one. He then handed over to his spokesman wwfan to explain things in more detail.

perfect!!! Chapeau chapeau!!!

I had to laugh

Thank you for the best post in this forum. I have bold that sentence, because of the "nice" explanaion why the strikers can't score a one-on-one chance.

conclusion:

A lot of member say the game is perfect, it is your tactic, it is your speach, ... etc

Now, we see how "real" the game is. You, my dear OP, posted a nice prove how the game imaginate the football. So, I think you should upload your save to SI site, so that they look at all this problem (top goal scorer, one-on-ones, stupid 1min. injuries, injuries after sub, long range screamers to equalise or to score late goals, ...)

So, I think the patch should come out in march, when all this little "reality" images are sorted well

perfect!!! Chapeau chapeau!!!

I had to laugh

Thank you for the best post in this forum. I have bold that sentence, because of the "nice" explanaion why the strikers can't score a one-on-one chance.

conclusion:

A lot of member say the game is perfect, it is your tactic, it is your speach, ... etc

Now, we see how "real" the game is. You, my dear OP, posted a nice prove how the game imaginate the football. So, I think you should upload your save to SI site, so that they look at all this problem (top goal scorer, one-on-ones, stupid 1min. injuries, injuries after sub, long range screamers to equalise or to score late goals, ...)

So, I think the patch should come out in march, when all this little "reality" images are sorted well

Stopped reading after the bold part. Was afraid I might slip into a coma. Seriously ensar13, can't you just have fun?

How? Tell me how?

Can you explain me, how does a team from bottom of the league manage to score 3 goal from 5 shoots? Explain me how does a team from middle table is not able to score against me? I mean, something is crap in this game, that I make 15 shoots on goal to score 3 goals, and a bottom team score 3 goals from 5 attempt. Why is this club 19th? By this chance convert he should be first.

And that is what the OP told here. The ME is taking the game in a silly world. So, how can I enjoy something that doesn't tell me what I am doing wrong?

In FM08, FM09, I could read what I am doing false, and repair that. But in this game it is all about lucky, maybe ME will let you score, or maybe you will have 20 shoots and score 2 goals, and the AI will score 2 goal from corner, free kick, or 2 long range screamer.

So this is the point what I am telling. Algeria hold 30 shoots, Korea got in the final because of they stupid defence so that ME had to use the SuperGK, and goals came from the far post corner. Man, even Greece won European Championship with play and not only with header shoots.

How? Tell me how?

Can you explain me, how does a team from bottom of the league manage to score 3 goal from 5 shoots? Explain me how does a team from middle table is not able to score against me? I mean, something is crap in this game, that I make 15 shoots on goal to score 3 goals, and a bottom team score 3 goals from 5 attempt. Why is this club 19th? By this chance convert he should be first.

And that is what the OP told here. The ME is taking the game in a silly world. So, how can I enjoy something that doesn't tell me what I am doing wrong?

In FM08, FM09, I could read what I am doing false, and repair that. But in this game it is all about lucky, maybe ME will let you score, or maybe you will have 20 shoots and score 2 goals, and the AI will score 2 goal from corner, free kick, or 2 long range screamer.

So this is the point what I am telling. Algeria hold 30 shoots, Korea got in the final because of they stupid defence so that ME had to use the SuperGK, and goals came from the far post corner. Man, even Greece won European Championship with play and not only with header shoots.

ensar, ensar.... don't spoil the atmos.

Good post- nice to see that the game can be enjoyed without taking it TOO seriously.

Fantastic, very well done. This is hilariously fantastic! So nice to know your not the only one. This should be viewed by everyone. Good job very very funny.

Did no one pick up the Brian Adams quote. maybe im just showing my age.

How did you get the correct World Cup groups... I smell FMRTE...

Of course I jest... Very well written and absolutely hilarious. You've brightened up my day.

lol On to the final group game against Slovenia and with pressure building manager Bryan Adams asked fans to be patient stating his team needs games and time to gel. He went on to say pleasing the fans was his priority “Everything I do, I do it for you”.