Stuff that is not really true but...

DISCLAIMER:

The following is not a rant, actually the following is unproven, untrue and definately silly. When you let another match slip away, lost a perfectly "easy" home game or when you are just on a terrible run and frustration sets in the following does seem like the truth. Which is all just human nature I guess, to see what is not really there but to think it always is.

In short, just a bit of fun with "those" moments

In random order:

1) Your central defenders always seem to win all headers when you take a corner only to head it over time after time. They seem pretty good at it, just don't know how to aim.

2) The same defenders always miss headers when a corner against you is taken, resulting in a goal 100% of the time.

3) All defenders have a hidden stat at 20, which is called something like "give away a penalty in key matches". They normally never do it, but this stat makes sure they do when you play the match of the season or any random final.

4) Fullbacks have really long legs, any cross even remotely in their vicinity results in a corner. All wingers hit those loooooong legs every single time even when he is hugging the line and the fullback is halfway between him and the penalty area. True story!

5) Keepers only rush out when they have no chance to get to the ball first, if they do they stay back at their goal. They like the chalange you know.

6) It is well known that the most efficient way to deal with a ball headed clear after a corner is to head it straight back. Better yet, run with it straight at the blob of players in the box and try to phaseshift right trough them all. Keep trying, it works in theory.

7) Speaking of headers, if you do happen to score with them it is a certainty that the shortest player does so. Even more the case when you mark him with a player 3 times his size.

8) Defensive midfielders are forced by law to get at least one yellow card every match. If they don't they will get a red. Just so you know, its not their fault. Its the law.

9) Most people don't know this but all players save up all their aggression until that important match. Any position, even your striker with no yellow cards whole season does this. Resulting in many suprising straight reds, well suprising... not really.

10) All strikers train very hard on one to one situations. Resulting in the well practiced straight in the hands of the keeper. Especially world class strikers are very good at this.

11) Playing counter results in an instant goal, against you that is. Playing attacking too. Actually if you score just expect one back. It's only fair you know.

12) All team talks have the reverse effect, except no pressure/take it easy. Then they will, do pretty much nothing. Do not get complacent means "relax you don't need to score anymore, the opposite team will".

13) If you don't credit your players they will get mad, if you do they think they didn't have to do anything for it. Don't worry too much, normally they "seems not to be listening" anyway.

14) After a while any team plays a tactic and formation that counters yours. No they don't have any problems changing formations every match, only you do. By the way, if you use their counter against them next time it doesn't work. Pay attention, this is important.

15) Doesn't matter how many times you play in the cup, you are shortlisted to get the most chalanging opponent every single draw. Playing away of course.

16) If you are Arsenal you play Chelsea 10 times every season, get used to it.

17) Pre match odds and favorite roles are up for discussion afterwards. If you are not favorite you will be after the match when you lost. It makes perfect sense, trust me.

18) Closely tied to this are the fan expectations, a draw away against Barcelona is a dissapointing result. They didn't expect you to win before the match but afterwards they did, see previous point.

19) Wonderkid status actually means that they are good enough allready so their training increase will be minimal. If you sell them they will improve a lot again. Try it!

20) Players with no potential whatsoever will improve like the next golden boy, just until they could become decent. Then they stop.

21) It is perfectly normal to pick the ball out of the net after one minute when you spend half an hour on tactics. This is the quick satisfaction generation remember. Needless to say, a little frustrating only the opposition seems to know this trick.

22) If you are on a winning streak there is always a team on a streak just a little bit better then yours. Lets face it, makes you want to aim for the 1st spot next year too. If you loose they will too, to keep it exciting. They will have one point more then you tho, thats the rule.

23) Players above 30 years of age are not worth keeping so sell them. Only the AI knows the secret to keep them in top condition for another 10 years, you however should not bother.

24) Selling players always annoys the fans, yes even that player who nobody knows from the reserves has friends in the fanclub. Oh sure they do.

25) Sugerdaddies like to take over all clubs in the world, except yours. Tried and tested this, your board take over will only result in an endless transfer ban and no money.

26) Affiliated clubs are always one level lower then your players like to be loaned out to. Also, any affiliated club stops generating good players. They know you have a first option so they hide them.

27) Last but not least, if your team frustrates you they will always loose one more match to drive you completely nuts. Then they will behave and start winning again. Always

haha, some of them are very familiar, can identify with almost every one.

28) (for me at least).. Your world class striker with the entire opponent half to himself, will make sure he runs all the way to the 18 yard box, wiggle a bit, and run straight into the keeper.

haha, some of them are very familiar, can identify with almost every one.

28) (for me at least).. Your world class striker with the entire opponent half to himself, will make sure he runs all the way to the 18 yard box, wiggle a bit, and run straight into the keeper.

28a) If he fails to this he will run wide and look too cross the ball to the opposition goalkeeper.

Haha excellent

I think we've all succumbed to some of these at some point.

haha, some of them are very familiar, can identify with almost every one.

28) (for me at least).. Your world class striker with the entire opponent half to himself, will make sure he runs all the way to the 18 yard box, wiggle a bit, and run straight into the keeper.

That's better than him deciding he likes the corner flag more and runs there instead of shooting.

My Notts Co striker (forgot his name) had an unhealthy obsession with the corner flag.

haha, some of them are very familiar, can identify with almost every one.

28) (for me at least).. Your world class striker with the entire opponent half to himself, will make sure he runs all the way to the 18 yard box, wiggle a bit, and run straight into the keeper.

If only mine did that. Have the annoying habit of, when on a breakaway against defenders that they're in theory far quicker than, deciding to take a diagonal approach to the box so increasing the distance they have to travel. The further away from the goal they're heading for, the better. Bonus points if, having finally reached the box, they decide to turn around and pass it... to your central defender.

Excellent thread. Good effort mate.

haha, some of them are very familiar, can identify with almost every one.

28) (for me at least).. Your world class striker with the entire opponent half to himself, will make sure he runs all the way to the 18 yard box, wiggle a bit, and run straight into the keeper.

or turn and run at the corner flag. lol

I see this running at the corner flag is quite common, quite relieved that it's not just my striker that has developed that nasty fetish.

8 and 18 are absolutely true and awfully annoying...

I'd add this:

29) Your winger will just NOT cross the ball until he has been closed down by a defender... So, even though he could have crossed 10 times already, had a free target in the box and the closest opponent was miles away, all you'll get is a corner.

30) Man advantage is useless. No, it doesn't matter if your mediocre opponents are reduced down to 10 or even 9 men. Their impressive 4-4-1 (or 4-3-1) will hold on well enough to bring a draw home. And consider yourself lucky if you didn't somehow concede another goal

Keep adding stuff folks, just throw it all out :thup:

31) If you start the season with plenty of players, even too much to rotate them all and keep them happy you can be sure you are running short on manpower at the end. They all are either injured or suspended. Actually, I think it would be wise to have at least 5 backups for each position. You know you are gonna need em!

32) If leading 2-0 at half time, your team feels compelled to concede 2 goals to make your oppositions feel better.

32) If leading 2-0 at half time, your team feels compelled to concede 2 goals to make your oppositions feel better.

As discussed in the other thread, thats not a bad bug, its bad management!

33) When you finally sign Messi, he will get injured for 8 months shortly after making his debut.

34) when possession is 60/40 in your favour and passing at 75% to 53%, the other team will outshoot you 17 (3CCC 7 inside box) to 3 (all outside the box).

35) A keeper who has a form of less than 6.60 or conceeded 10 goals in the last five matches will always keep a clean sheet against you despite your 15 shots on target

Yep, many of reasons why i'm not playing this god awful version of Football Manager.

36) A forward who has scored 2 in 100 games will score a hat-trick past you with his first 3 and only shots.

37) An opposition player will wait till the match against you to score "his first goal of the season"

Fella's cheers for that, I kept laughing away Great thread!

38) Marco Verratti will always chose Sampdoria over you no matter how much money you give that goddamn kid:mad:. (ok this one is to personal but i don't care:D)

39) Jadson may well be on a free, but you have to offer him £25k+ over what he wants, if you stand any chance of signing him, over the other 65 clubs offering

I'm not sure if anyone is familiar with the whole concept of "100 things we've learned from such and such movie" threads. If anyone has ever been in the IMDB website, they have these kind of threads for many movies and they're always hilarious.

This is our 100 things we've learned from FM10

40) if you have 2 or 3 goals lead and you go on defence, in the next minute after the tactics are changed you will concede, that's just the way it is

41) Because of the new law, your players are forced to hit the crossbar or the post at least two times before scoring a goal

42) Another new law has come into effect, targeted at top teams. When playing a bottom side all players must do one or more of the following:1. Stay out until 6am the night before the match, consuming their body weight in alcohol. 2. Perform a self-lobotomy with a rusty spoon/own fingers. 3. Huff spray paint in the dressing room immediately prior to the match.