Indi75 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Me to coaching staff: "For the umpteenth time! No! I will not take Dossena off the transfer list, and I don't care whether you think he can do a job for us!" "Bernie, he's a Winger - which means sometimes he is allowed to cut inside" "Well if Glen Johnson doesn't like my team talk, he can stay out on the effin' pitch next week, can't he!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Taylor Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Lol. Like it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Share Posted December 2, 2009 "Tackle" "Tackle 'im" "Tackle, Tackle, TACKLE!!!" "Taaaaaaaaaaackaaaaaal 'iiiiimmmmmm" "Nnnnnnggg!!" "****" Whilst watching the massively overrated Dummy Berbatov waddle through my back 4 in slow motion and toe poke the ball into the roof of net. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Dire Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 "What do you mean we struggle against teams with who play a normal defencive line? What do you mean we struggle against teams with who play normal tempo? What do you mean we struggle against teams with who play with normal width? Lets face it, we normally struggle!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
the--dud Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I get an even more annoying request. Every single time they tell me to take Wright-Phillips off the transfer list, despite the fact I play a narrow formation without any MR or AMR... Stupid backroom staff! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lordarod Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 They told me I should take Alexis Sanchez off the transfer-list. They were right. He won the world footballer of the year the year after I sold him him. He played as a striker with finishing 11 composure 12. Damn how could I have known? And he's probably the cheapest player who ever won it with a value of 13,75 mil. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saha's Crocked Knee Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 "What do you mean we struggle against teams with who play a normal defencive line? What do you mean we struggle against teams with who play normal tempo? What do you mean we struggle against teams with who play with normal width? Lets face it, we normally struggle!" My gosh i almost spat my drink out when i read this! funny man funny man:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenwyne Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Okay I get it, every time I don't win you want all my reserves and transfer-listed players to have played instead. What a wonderful 'feature'. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aadam Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 One of my coaches has noticed that Luton struggle against teams who play a 3-3-2-2 formation. Show me just a single team in England who plays 3-3-2-2... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale Gribble Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 "For the last time Pat, Vermaelen refuses to mark tightly, if your so intent on making him do so, maybe you should speak to him yourself because he isn't listening to me." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wardog Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 "For Petes sake Danny, Beckham is past it and will not get in the first team over Van der Vaart, Ledesma or Farfan meaning he wont be in the first team. I will not un-transfer list him" "Why the Hell didnt you make that challenege there and let there striker go past?? Idiot £22M defender" "Why would i make my corner kick taker someone whos only got a rating of 3 for corners when i could have someone with 20 taking corners that you want me to remove?" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aw083 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 "For the last time Pat, Vermaelen refuses to mark tightly, if your so intent on making him do so, maybe you should speak to him yourself because he isn't listening to me." lol I have a similar problem with Huntelaar. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale Gribble Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I also have it with Walcott and Bendtner, who refuse to stop dribbling down the right and center respectively, it's annoying as hell. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schotsmannetje Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 My assistant keeps asking me to make Lass Diarra throw bullet-throw ins. I don't see the bloody point. Besides, he has refused to try to learn this for 3 seasons in a row now. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saha's Crocked Knee Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Mike! Mike! ......Mike you want me to get rooney to stop shoooting from long range.......?? Don't you realise the long shot bug is really gonna help us this year Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wardog Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 classic ^^^ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deisler26 Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Richard, I'm sure Zeigner would make an excellent coach.... But he's being offloaded in the transfer window, so what does it matter? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Shanahan Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "FFS Madlung you're an idiot", after he gave away a penalty. "FFS Pogbrenyak you're an even worse idiot" in relief after he blasted the resutling spot kick a mile wide. "Ricardo what are you trying to get yourself sent off for, you've just lost us the title" after doing his best Harold Schumacker impression to gift Koln a free which resulted in a 4-4 home draw with 2 games to go, amazingly he only got warned for it, when on a yellow. His reply a week later "See boss, I knew what I was doing, Bayern just lost to Freiburg, to give us the title". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 "What is it about 'I expect a win' that you shitbags read as 'I expect a demonstration of abject complacency'? eh? eh? EH!!??" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooner83 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 '' We would like to arrange a back room meeting as it seems a while since you last arranged one'' '' Yes but if you actually turn up when i arrive then we can chat'' after the numerous times theres nobody there despite them INVITING me '' Lovely time to concede a penalty in the dying stages of a cup final when the ball was going to the keeper you ******'' disgusting behaviour from Mr Chielleni AGAIN!!! '' Yes i love having to play nearly every game with 10 men'' Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmo Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "Diego, you've been told before you cant say that to the press" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooner83 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 And an amazing tip from the loading bar.... a player with high penalty taking would make a good penalty taker!!!!! OH REALLY Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 "Oh he has, has he? Where is the smug little shitbag?" After being informed that Ang-hell Di Maria has had the audacity to announce he has forgiven me for treating him unfairly in giving him a warning over a match rating of 6.0* *2 bloody months ago!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooner83 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 '' Ahh i see exactly how clever my fans are'' After they choose to complain about the sale of Vermaelen last year despite the sales of Dzeko and Fabregas following him out the door. Geez they can hold a grudge. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rice2cu Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Latest news "Otamendi has withdrawn his transfer request and has settled his differences with the management" FFS, no one tells me anything around here and I'm only the bloody manager. I don't even know what the "Differences" were. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
StyleASD Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Scout " Found one player in my search, micheal Jackson" Me "ok this is the third time you have only found him to recomend me, what do i pay you for?" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saha's Crocked Knee Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 (ass man to manger over scout recommening MJ again) Boss.... Boss i think he has just been in the pub drinking again.............. more worryingly he recons he will be a great youth coach.................... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoolblowsme Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "Nooooo, don't shoot from 45 yards out. AGAIN! For the 17th time! Your Long Shots are set to Rarely!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee Lad Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Get stuck in you fat Sallies! Cmon! Get your fngers out of there now! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Taylor Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "Oh he has, has he? Where is the smug little shitbag?"After being informed that Ang-hell Di Maria has had the audacity to announce he has forgiven me for treating him unfairly in giving him a warning over a match rating of 6.0* *2 bloody months ago!! Priceless! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanZG Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "I, the chairman of the fans' association, must inform you that the fans are extremely disappointed that you have declined the services and sold our 4th choice GK who hasn't played a game for the club and was here only because the Romanian researchers accidently put him in the wrong Dinamo. They feel he had much more to offer to the club!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almondo Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 '' We would like to arrange a back room meeting as it seems a while since you last arranged one'' "Why would I organise a back room meeting? the advice given is generally useless." "Why do you want our star striker taking throw in's? Bloody Moronic advice that is." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMOZZA Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "However, your decision let David Beckham leave the club is regarded by the fans as an aberration" "Really, is that because he was earning his 68 grand a week, or because the majority of them had his name on the back of their shirts?" "Martin Galvan is unhappy about his lack of first team football, I suggest involving him in more first team duties blah blah blah" "Ok Mr Tassotti, you can go tell Martin, that considering when I offered him his contract, there was a small stipulation, I think its called "Squad Status" or something minor like that, in there saying "Hot Prospect For the Future", that may well mean he will only play 10 games a season until I believe he is ready to come in and play instead of a certain player in the same position that goes by the name of Rafael Van der Vaart that has scored 40 goals and had over 40 assists in the last 2 years. Come back to me next week with his response, or don't do that and just tell me that he's still unhappy, it's entirely up to you Mauro" "Steve Bould Feels John Carew would benefit if he stuck to the right hand side of the pitch when dribbling" "Oh you do do you Steve, well I feel, that the team would benefit a lot more if John Carew stuck to not dribbling at all and did his job as a "Target Man" Properly thank you very much" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almondo Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 However the fan's feel that the 3-2 loss to real madrid is disappointing. "WTF??? We're playing in a league two below La Liga and scored 2 against one of the best teams in europe and they're disappointed? well I think the fans are a bunch of moron's who know nothing about football. Ungrateful ingrates" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Git Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "The fans believe the sale of Kyle Lafferty is of great benefit to the club" - Fans Player of the Year and Top Goal scorer! (Only benefit was the dosh, cos the clubs skint, can't score for toffee now!) But "The fans describe allowing Kevin Thomson to leave as an aberration" Sheesh, I tried for 6 months to get the arrogant sonofamonkey to sign a new contract, would he, no, but it's my fault he left for Benfica! I am besides myself with grief! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMOZZA Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 After being told Nigel Reo-Coker was delighted to tutor from Diego Renan (Received that piece of news on 29th Jan). "Fan****intastic!!!, When Nigel Reo-Coker was actually at the club I couldn't get him to tutor anyone, but nearly a month after selling him to Middlesborough, he's delighted to tutor one of my best upcoming players!!!" I had sold Reo-Coker to Boro on 2nd Jan!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almondo Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 After being told Nigel Reo-Coker was delighted to tutor from Diego Renan (Received that piece of news on 29th Jan)."Fan****intastic!!!, When Nigel Reo-Coker was actually at the club I couldn't get him to tutor anyone, but nearly a month after selling him to Middlesborough, he's delighted to tutor one of my best upcoming players!!!" I had sold Reo-Coker to Boro on 2nd Jan!!! Thats hilarious. he's obviously thought about it and gone "you know what, I'd like to tutor that kid at my old club." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fulham_Mic Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 One of the most entertaining threads I've read on here in a long time But unfortuanatley as a side effect highlights another poorly implemented and generally useless feature of this years FM installment. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe__the__man Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Tito Vilanova's analysis has shown that Athletic Club concede most of their goals between the 16th and 30th minutes of a game. Brilliant, I guess that's nice to know Coach Mark Rota strongly disagrees with this advice Oh no. So, Tito, Mark...which one of you is better at counting? ...probably mental... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wardog Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Kevin MacDonald believes Ayr struggle against teams who play a high tempo Woohoo i play a high tempo Danny Blind believes Ayr play better against a team who play a high tempo Well i guess ill just have to find out for myself then final score 3-0 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarmatian Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Tito Vilanova's analysis has shown that Athletic Club concede most of their goals between the 16th and 30th minutes of a game. That's good to know if you wanna place a bet One of my favourites after Buffon made a mistake and conceded a goal: Fans were disappointed with Buffon and believe Mario Kirev should have been played instead Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelco Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Why the **** are you doing that?!?! over, and over, and over, over again. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Taylor Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "Just because the other team are hoofing the ball around like 6 year old girls doesn't mean we have to!" "Well sh*t. I guess actually doing what I pay you 150K A WEEK for is just asking too much." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
walsh Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 "For gods sake Ole Gunnar, every week you come to me saying we should stop Gareth [bale] from attempting long range free kicks, I asked him about 2 years ago and he didn't take a blind bit of notice. And in his defence he's scored about 10 since then so I think we'll leave it up to him. Just because you couldn't score from outside the box there's no need to get all jealous!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenco Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 The fans were disappointed with your defeat to Man Utd, and singled out Fernando Torres for criticism. They feel Andriy Voronin should have started ahead of him. What fans are we talking about here, Everton fans?? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 Priceless! Little sod does it every time! Clearly does not like discipline. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indi75 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 One of the most entertaining threads I've read on here in a long time But unfortuanatley as a side effect highlights another poorly implemented and generally useless feature of this years FM installment. Sadly true, but it's good to share nonetheless, if only to highlight some of the issues in an entertaining way. The fans were disappointed with your defeat to Man Utd, and singled out Fernando Torres for criticism. They feel Andriy Voronin should have started ahead of him.What fans are we talking about here, Everton fans?? Thank you Kenco. Specifically for the coffee all over my shiny new Logitech keyboard. As a Liverpool fan one might say you have struck a chord with that one Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMOZZA Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Thats hilarious. he's obviously thought about it and gone "you know what, I'd like to tutor that kid at my old club." Just Proof for it as well, and to confirm to myself that I never dreamt it or I wasn't seeing things Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wardog Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Fans are destroyed by defeat to Barca Yes we lost 7 - 2 at the nou camp. Yes we could have played better. But for gods sake its the Nou camp, Its Barcalona. Our £25M defender was suspended, we drew 0 - 0 with them at home. What do you want me to do, at least we performed against a rampant Barcalona team. Take pride and ill get us some more £25M players in the summer, it shows us that our unbeaten run in the league maybe good but we are beatable. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aw083 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Tito Vilanova's analysis has shown that Athletic Club concede most of their goals between the 16th and 30th minutes of a game.Brilliant, I guess that's nice to know Coach Mark Rota strongly disagrees with this advice Oh no. So, Tito, Mark...which one of you is better at counting? ...probably mental... absolute classic. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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