commandmennts of fm

1. Thou shalt only score a goal when you craft the perfect move with the correct player with high stats providing the perfect pass to a striker who is equally endowed.

2. Thou shalt conceed a goals from out of positions players with low stats from all angles and areas of the pitch

3. Thou shalt only score 1 corner in 50

4. Thouu will conceed goals from1 corner in 5

5. Defenders shalt believe the opposition to be demons and not to be approached under any circumstance

6. The Lord shalt confer man of the match upon thine opposition goalie in at least half the games you play.

7. Clear cut chances shalt be preserved like gold and not wasted on the scoring of goals.

8. Thine opposition will be able to craft goals from out of thin air (or a long punt at least)

9. The slowest player will inherit the ball

10. Beware the long shot rating of three as it will decide the fate of many.

I like this. Not sure if its serious but still...

Ha ha...got a laugh from me too Are these commandments relative to all FM's or just FM10?

I approve. (But not of your spelling of 'commandments' in the thread title)

Especially liked #5

Brilliant. Nice way to wake up on a saturday with this

you missed out beware the opposition player who has never scored (as players always get there first goal against you)

11. Thou shalt demolish big opposition teams but thou must level the playing field by losing to those teams less fortunate.

12. Thou shalt not download a tactic set and declare it useless after 3 pre-season matches in season 1. (12.1 Thou shalt not ask which one tactic of the set to use for your team)

13. Thou shalt use 'pleased' at half time at thy peril.

14. Thou shalt see your coaches move to lesser teams, with worse facilities on lesser wages.

15. Do not cross the ball until thou canst see the whites of the defenders eyes

15.1. Thou shalt not cross the ball, but try and dribble into the box, where thou shalt be tackled by some huge russian centre back.

16. Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.

Thou shalt play FM with no sound, on super fast speed and ALT tabbed out (with team losing without your knowledge) posting on forum that game is too difficult and tactics do not make sense.

Nice!

17. Thou shall have to fork out a limb to purchase decent players, while AI are given chariety status!

18. Thou shalt never underestimate players who have never scored for their club, as they will certainly score their first against thou!

19. Thou shalt take multiple two goal leads only to see them evaporate into oblivion.

20. Thou shalt not trust in men over 30 years of age to retain optimum velocity for very long.

21. Thou shalt attain a lower league position than previously, despite having a better squad of players.

22. Thou shalt have at least 1 bogey team, that no matter what, thou shalt never defeat?

This is indeed brilliant!

23. Silence is gold , honour your great assistant when he doesn't have anything to say at half time.

24. There is but one referee, bow down in his presence and know that criticising in haste leads to repetance in the stand.

OP is epic. And truthful.

25. Thou shall ask permission to each player whether they want to improve or not, and thou shall accept the usuall answer of no!

26 The wall is like mist and it shall indeed be possible to get the ball up and down quickly enough

27 Knowest that you attackest is deaf and willest not hear the approach of a tackle

Thou shalt play FM with no sound, on super fast speed and ALT tabbed out (with team losing without your knowledge) posting on forum that game is too difficult and tactics do not make sense.

28. Thou must NEVER hold a lead of 3 goals at half time...

29. Thou shall not feel glee upon the scoring of a goal, for the opponent shall smite thee in the very next highlight

30 Thou shall not be able to sell any players

31 Thou shalt not be given offside until the act of shooting

Haha, this had brightened my day up a tad.

32. Thou shalt concede in the 90th minute to the bottom of the league

I'm liking number 9!

32 Beware the ball falling from the sky as a defender will shortly see yellow for a minor push

16. Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.

Hahaha this one is pure gold mate.

33 Only you will have a transfer bid for a player rejected, despite offering the same amount as 6 other teams, which have all been accepted.

Best thread in years Keep it up guys(especially you geogman)!

34 tough shalt not complain about not winning as the answer will always be its your tactics

35. You will complain the game is too easy when you only play as Man U, Chelsea, Madrid, etc, instead of a challenge when playing as Luton Town.

36. Thou shalt predict an offside goal 20 seconds before it is declared due to there existing no goal flash

37. Thou shalt discover ever more thinly veiled and bandwagonesque ways of moaning about the game on thy SI forum.

37. Thou shalt discover ever more thinly veiled and bandwagonesque ways of moaning about the game on thy SI forum.

you are a genius sir

38. Thou shalt not score in the 2nd half if you hold a 2 - 0 lead at half time.

39. New signings will get injured a week before the start of a new season.

40. Thou shalt have more commandments then one could engrave into a rock at a readable size.

you are a genius sir

Great minds?

41. Thy centrehalfs will part like the Red Sea upon any throughballs being played.

42 Thought shalt annoy your key player in an interview by accident

43: Thou shalt hold imaginary press conferences on the toilet upon signing a new centre half.

haha that is rather comical

44: Thou shall not sayest anything about your players in press conferences, lest they become unhappy all year

45: Thou players must never tell you they are unhappy, except that they use the local paper.

46: Thou canst never tell your players anything.

37. Thou shalt discover ever more thinly veiled and bandwagonesque ways of moaning about the game on thy SI forum.

*yawn*

47: Thou shalt have thine best player sold by thoust chairman on the last day of the transfer window.

grrrrrrrr